


Leaving Isn't Easy

by Xephin



Category: The Yogscast
Genre: Abuse, Domestic Violence, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-06-12
Updated: 2014-06-12
Packaged: 2018-02-04 10:15:41
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 868
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1775458
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Xephin/pseuds/Xephin
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The first punch always hurt the most.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Leaving Isn't Easy

The first punch always hurt the most.

It wasn’t as if it had the most force behind it, far from it. If anything, the first punch was the softest as if Sips was trying to find the right amount of force, enough to hurt but not enough to leave marks that wouldn’t fade easily.

No, it hurt the most because Sjin had thought Sips had changed.

Every single time.

He never failed to believe Sips when he apologized and pulled him into a tight hug, promising “never to do it again” and “that it was just a mistake”. The shock from the first punch after a period of a loving Sips never failed to hurt.

The second punch normally came with a swift but powerful kick to his leg, causing him to fall down in a limp heap.

Sjin knew it had to be his fault, Sips had told him that enough times. Sips wasn’t violent to him unless he had done something wrong, like the time when he had burned the steaks they were having for dinner. If Sjin would just stop messing up then Sips wouldn’t have to hurt him, wouldn’t have to punish him. But, no matter how hard he tried, he always seemed to make mistakes.

The third, fourth, and fifth punch was followed soon after, usually with a harsh insult.

“You dumb fuck!” Sips would scream, pulling Sjin up by the hair. “That deal would have made us rich and you fuck it up!”

Often Sjin would shout back, though he was not sure if it was from self respect or just plain stupidity.  

“It’s your fault! If you were a better boss then I wouldn’t have messed up!”

That often earned him a punch to the gut and a kick to the face until he slid down the wall in pain.

“You think you’re so smart, don’t you?” Sips would snarl. “You think everyone loves you but you’re wrong!” He would kneel on the ground and grab Sjin’s face in a tight vice-like grip. “I’m the only one who loves you!”

Sjin often thought about leaving around the…tenth punch? It was hard to keep track.

He dreamed of escaping and finding someone who would love him no matter what. He wished for somebody, anybody, who would forgive his mistakes and wouldn’t punish him for them.

One time he had voiced this to Sips as his head was pounded to ground.

“I deserve more!” he breathed, kicking his legs out to stop Sips’ attack. “I’m leaving you and SipsCo and I’m not coming back!”

Sips had grinned and it had filled Sjin’s heart with dread. “Oh really?” he laughed, hand flying to Sjin’s throat to hold him down. “And who would you go to?”

“Honeydew Inc…” Sjin choked out as he clawed at the hand uselessly. “I will get a job there and they won’t hurt me and-”

Sips cut him off by tightening his grip. Sjin was sure it was going to leave a bruise almost as violent as Sips himself. “And care for you?” Sips mocked, his nails embedded in the flesh of Sjin’s neck, leaving painful red crescent marks. “I don’t know if you’re stupid or just delusional.”

Sjin finally managed to rip Sips’ hand from his throat.

“You don’t know what you’re talking about!”

Sips leaned closer, so close that Sips’ breath drowned him. “The only person who would love you is me,” he whispered, his voice cold and steady. “You can’t leave me, there is no one else out there for you.”

Sjin gulped and turned his head so he was staring at the kitchen wall. “You’re wrong,” he muttered but he didn’t sound as sure anymore.

“Oh really?” Sips reached out to grab Sjin’s chin with a claw-like hand. “Try it then, leave.”

Voice wavering, Sjin spoke again. “I-I will!”

“Leave,” Sips ordered, turning Sjin to face him. “Stand up and go.” He paused to see if Sjin would move before he smiled.

“See, I told you. You know deep in your heart that I’m right.”

He pulled Sjin in a sit up position by yanking the short strands of Sjin’s hair before crushed their lips together in a bruising kiss.

“I’m the only one for you,” he growled as he pulled away. Sjin whimpered. “You know that, don’t you?”

Sjin nodded as tears began to flow down his cheeks, not stopping as Sips stared at him with disgust. Sips stood up and brushed the nonexistent dust from his knees. “If you ever leave, don’t come back. I would have found someone much better than you, it would be that easy.”

He didn’t bother to reach out to help Sjin up, turning away to walk to his room.

“Never forget that, Sjin.”

Sjin lay there, waiting for time to pass. He waited for the time where Sips would return, apologizing for hurting him and shouting at him, promising never to harm him again. Sjin knew he would forgive Sips instantly and would actually believe that he had changed. Although he forgave, he never forgot.

The first punch may have hurt the most but it was the harsh words that left the lingering and most painful wounds.

 


End file.
